Change in Attitude - It's a Good Thing

The original reason I started this page and my blog was to share my story so that others going through the same thing would know they were not alone in the process. As my friend Terri says, we are paying it forward.

Two years ago there were not all the resources online that there are now. And I think they are super helpful. At least the ones I'm a member of.

One of the most powerful features, I feel, is seeing those that have been through it all and have come out the other side with hope, love, and new beginnings. After all, without hope, we have nothing. 

I have always had hope that moving forward I would again find a great love. I wasn't sure that it would happen, but I was hopeful. I would talk out loud every morning (and still do) and say that if it did happen, it would be great, and if not, well, at least I had a wonderful 11 years with someone who cherished, loved, adored me and treated me with respect. I know that a lot of people never even have that so I was and am grateful.

In the past month, without spilling all the beans, life is looking up for me. And if it can be good for me, it can be good for you.

Does it make the past two years go away or any less important? No. Of course not. The pain is there, the love is still there, but I've always thought that when you lose someone in this manner, your heart expands to make room for more. And having hope and being happy is even sweeter because of it.

Do not settle for less than you deserve. Do not lower your standards or your criteria just so that you are not alone. Do not be desperate. Be patient and know that when the time is right and the person is right, the moon and the stars will all line up and it will happen.

Friend's Pain

We’ve all heard the phrase, We Aren’t Promised Tomorrow, and it doesn’t mean much until you learn the hard way that it is true.

Early last evening I got a phone call that the ex-wife of my friend Michael’s best friend was killed in a motorcycle accident earlier in the evening. Up until that moment that he got that call, he was enjoying a guy’s weekend with friends from college. They were up all night making arrangements and then getting him to the airport at the crack of dawn to get him home to be with his kids.

Honestly, you just never know. And it just hammers it home that we’d better make the most of every single moment and not hesitate to grab life by the horns and just go for it.

I think of the saying, You Only Regret the Things You Didn’t Do, Not the Things You Did.

I don’t know if death has made me bolder. I don’t think so as I was always this way. However, it does make you think. Is this problem/issue/person/etc…worth my time and am I going to waste precious time on it/them? And on the flip side, if it’s legal, fun, and makes me happy, why not do it?

My friend Terri and I decided early on when both of our late husbands were just gone, that we were going to say “Yes” to as much as possible. We were sick of grief and were trying to build our lives moving forward. We did a good job and had a lot of laughs, tears, and fun along the way.

I don’t know if it’s possible to “get” those lessons without having gone through the issues that got us there. Seems to be that everyone says they never understood until they were in that position. It’s a crummy way to learn. However, if you are reading this you are likely either in that position or you care about someone who is.

Be kind and live life the best you can. It’s all we’ve got. On this earth anyway.

Today is a Good Day!

It’s amazing how once you meet someone that you really feel like there is a connection with and that you are excited about, how your attitude will change. Of course, you have to have had enough time go by in order to be ready to be open to it and accept it.

I’ve seen it with my girlfriends who are widows and I’m looking forward to the same. They’ve found happiness and you and I will too. We just have to wait for the right one.

October 28, 2018

I’m hesitant to put the cart before the horse, but I feel like there was a seismic change for me on October 9th when I went out with Mr. X. And then again today, on October 28th which by the way is a Sunday.

In case you haven’t heard, weekends really suck for widows. For me, Sunday’s have been the absolute worst for the past two years. I’m home alone, just working and I’m wishing I had someone special to share things with, and it’s just sad.

But today, which started out with cute texts and a confirmation that he is coming to see me in a couple of weeks, followed by several phone calls, I feel like a different person. Having hope and really enjoying bantering back and forth and the attention of someone that I really like has brought the real me back to life.

Truly looking forward to the next phase.