Post — Strong Like Bull

Deb, the worst times seem to be in the car driving home from work or dinner and then when I'm working in Bill's home office. Also walking to and from the gym where we live. I guess there are a lot of bad times because everything is a trigger. Last night was bad. The things that haunt me, and I know that everyone probably has these thoughts, but my mind keeps going back to the last few months (basically since Bill got sick) and thinking about how quickly he got sick and was there anything else that I could have done, was he scared, was he in pain, did he know what was happening to him...? I know it's pointless because there are no answers that I don't already have, but it's so hard to get those images out of my head. I try and think about how he was before June and to remember him as he was, not how this horrible disease made him (so helpless and not able to communicate much) over the ten weeks that we knew about it. It will only be 7 weeks this Thursday, so I know it's too soon, but I do wonder when there will be a respite from the thoughts.