Having Hope Moving Forward Romantically

It’s hard to hope that one day things will be better when all you see around you is what’s missing and you are deep in the fog and the grieving. Even though you intellectually know that what people tell you, that it will get better, is likely true, in the middle of it it’s hard to believe.

I’ve had several particular instances where the interactions really lifted my spirits and made me think that maybe there is hope.

Not because I have to have someone, but because at some point, I’d like to have someone to trust, share experiences with, love, trust, all of that.

The first one was in St. Martin. This was in Feb of 2017, 6 months after Bill died. I was still a mess. I had gone there to be on a tv show on a yacht with a group of women from my area just to get out of town, and on our last day there I met a really great guy who is a private pilot. Actually, one of the other girls met him at the beach bar, I showed up after my massage, we started talking and he and his fellow pilot went with the group of us out to dinner that night. We sat next to each other, had a nice time at the dinner and he showed his true colors of being a great guy when there was an incident that he deftly handled. After dinner we all went back to the hotel where we were staying, had a drink in the bar and then as we were leaving early the next morning, headed up to our rooms. He walked me to the hall, I was going left, he was going right, and then surprising the heck out of me, he took my face in his hands and gave me a kiss on the lips. That was it, nothing more, nothing sleazy, just sweet. I was shocked as I hadn’t expected it. But it was just so kind, that it flipped the switch in my mind, that yeah, there might be life out there that doesn’t suck.

That began a relationship between the two of us that exists to this day. I haven’t seen him since that night, but we talk and text, sometimes a lot, sometimes not much. He’s involved with someone that was already in the works when I met him, so there’s that. But it doesn’t matter. It’s never been a romantic relationship. He reached out to me, helped me, vice versa, and we continue to support each other. He’s a good friend.

The most recent situation was just in the last week. Someone that I had spoken to a year ago but never met, contacted me as he was in town for business and I met him for dinner. And it was lovely. Kind, handsome, empathetic, gentleman, articulate, fit, just a really nice, very handsome guy. And he didn’t get spooked by me talking about Bill. So yeah, maybe they do exist. But just like the unicorn, you’ve got to look really, really hard!

This story will definitely be continued….